30 days of self

when you take a lot of photos

Hello

The past year or so I’ve been trying to figure out what direction to head with my creative outlets. Taking up photography a few years ago was so I could record and share our day dream of some land, some bees and a garden. Now that this is no longer on our radar I’ve been wondering what I do with my photography. What kind of pictures should I take? What is the purpose of what I do? How do I fit this into my daily life? Lots and lots of questions. It seems that after a fallow year where I just spun my wheels a bit with my photography (although I did discover I like to write odd little nature poems) I feel like I have had a growth spurt. It seems I am a newly flowering perennial rather than an evergreen on the creative front. I’ve worked out that I often need some down time, a winter of sorts to nourish oneself before blooming again.

Since the start of the year I’ve found a few communities that I treasure. Women who like me are juggling many things and craving a creative moment usually with a camera. Through monthly challenges I have discovered I like to make little zines (more to come on that). This past month I joined a group of just exceptionally talented people from all over the world and took part in a 30 day self portrait challenge. Each day we had a different theme and as the days progressed I was waking to read what my new challenge would be before daydreaming about what to create, which I did with various levels of success. Don’t get me wrong there were many frustrations due to limits of time or skill set but I think I have learnt enough about myself to understand that it is part of the process and if I just ride through the tantrums of frustration I often end up creating something I didn’t know I could.

The month starts gently- a hand here, a foot there, a blur, a shadow. As the days progress your confidence grows as you get use to seeing yourself in front of the camera. It becomes easier (not always the easiest thing) to fully stand in front of the camera and have a photo taken. It does bring up a lot of internal questions about self, perception of self and then of course how you feel society sees you. I am at an age where women aren’t often seen so if felt important to me to try, even if it was a baby step to make myself seen.

As the month draws to a close I have 30 photos of myself I didn’t have before. Most of them I like. There are photos I want to do again or explore more,by either taking an idea further or following an inspirational thread that I wish to pull. I share this experience not to show off photos of myself - I have only taken them for me but more to encourage a yes to anyone who has been thinking about doing something like this. Something that takes you out of your comfort zone, to do it. Yes you will have a wealth of emotional feelings about it but I feel it is worth it to learn and love more about who you are.

with much love

Mel